System Reset - Restart

 Dusting off the ol' keyboard, and trying to kick-0ff this blog space again. A lot has happened in 10yrs; I fell in love & got married, we lost family members and added some new ones. We adopted a cute little Schnauzer, we bought our first home, I was promoted at work, I stopped powerlifiting but starting playing softball again. I was offered a position back in L.A., sold our first home, moved back to L.A. and bought our forever home...

In true fashion of big life changes, at some point it all became overwhelming. Although there were a lot of happy moments, there were some really challenging ones that eventually took me down a road where I lost myself a little.

I stopped taking photos, and posting positive thoughts with them. I stopped writing and sharing my thoughts with everyone, but even worse sometimes I even hid them from myself. I had a pretty lengthy run where I was up and down. At one point I even had my very first anxiety attack. 

That single incident was enough for me to start making little changes. It legitimately scared me. I had been bottling everything up and not pouring enough out. I realized I needed to make some adjustments and I needed to do it sooner than later. I started small, because honestly, I didn't have it in me to dive back into my journal. I bought one earlier that year and was off to a great start, but then I just fell off. 

I noticed I was becoming easily overwhelmed and distracted. So, I turned to the one thing that always centers my soul, music. No, I didn't start playing the piano again or anything. I simply invested in some noise cancelling AirPods and a nice pair of over the ear headphones. It was my way only way of tuning out the outside noise that had made its way in and rustled the insides of me. It allowed me to sit and focus on the one thing I needed to get done, whether it was a project at work, a project at home, or a project within. I had to make the conscious effort to work one thing at a time. 

So hear I am. Years later, I began journaling again. Now that I finally feel like I have the mind space, the physical space is a nice addition too, I'm ready to just put my thoughts back out there. I know I'm not the only one who has ever been in these places, so I'm open to hearing how anyone else has gotten through, what they are currently going through, or how they are trying to get started. 

Let's journey together...  

Operation Power Physique

Hittin that FIERCE flex at Metroflex Long Beach

"A blessing in disguise" is what I choose to keep telling myself. For those of you who have been following me for awhile, you all know about the pec strain I incurred leading up to my last meet in April. Those of you who are here for the first time, Welcome and thank you for taking the time to step into "Mai World".

Keeping with the tradition of "Transformation Tuesday", I would like to take the time to talk about the recent transformation you have been seeing. It's not an illusion, this powerlifter is shrinking down in size. 

After my pec injury, I expressed to my coach 
(Kelly Bautista) that I didn't want to just sit and train around my injury while I recovered. I was concerned that I would get bored, discouraged, and so depressed that I would just make my injury worse or eat my feelings away. I didn't want to lose all the progress we had made with my last prep. So, the only thing to do was to adjust my sails. 

Call me stubborn, but when I'm presented with a challenge, I work my way through it. I figured it was time to listen to my body and stop putting off the inevitable. So I have finally decided to commit myself to the ultimate challenge... Stepping on stage in Women's Physique.

Yes, I'm serious. 

Yes, I'm sure. 

Yes, I know I have to step on stage with a two-piece on.

Yes, I'm scared outta my mind. 

No, I haven't lost my mind; that would imply I was sane to begin with. 

And finally, the "why"... 

Aside from my typical "Because, I can!" answer, I feel like I am finally in a good spot in my life. Transformation doesn't happen overnight, and I have to admit that the last 5 years of my life have been filled with DAILY transformation. My outlook, my mentality, my emotional state, my perspective of love and trust, my journey through fitness, a career change, the deaths of family members, and a support system stronger than I could have ever imagined. I have the confidence and courage today, that I could barely piece together 5 years ago. I've proven to myself just what I am capable of achieving, and with the amazing support system I have right now.. I feel invincible. I feel, with such strong conviction, that even if I was to fall short I have achieved success by just getting started. 

So join me as I push myself to new limits. It is a time in my life I will have to face vulnerability to the 100th degree. For years I have created an emotional wall to protect me from such things, but it will only hinder my progress and true transformation. I am excited to see my body transform, as well as breaking out of my shell. Believe it or not, I embarrass myself rather easily, so posing in public has been quite the challenge for me. I've always been viewed as the girl who just "lifts heavy weights". Now, I'm lifting with the goal of aesthetics rather than total weight lifted. The unknown is nerve-wrecking, but I have all the right people in my corner, to get me through "gut-wrenching ego  check" days. Operation Power Physique is in full effect... I mean, if I'm not living with my life in full-throttle, what am I really doing? I need to stop getting in my own way, spread my wings... and FLY!!!

Lift Big. LIVE FIERCE!!!!