Always looking forward...

August 2010 - Venezia S. Lucia, Italy

I had been on Italian soil for less than 24 hours when this picture was taken. I couldn't help but feel at peace and excited at the same time. We landed in Milan, spent the day in Venice, and were heading to Bellagio the next day. At this point, it had been almost a year since I decided to take back control of my life. My heart was finally starting to mend, I was rediscovering who I was, I was working with a trainer to get back in shape, and I had finally adjusted to being a civilian in the workforce. I was well on my way to a brighter path. I promised myself that I was going to enjoy this trip, and leave everything else behind. Although it was my childhood best friend getting married, this was MY time. 

Italy changed me and the way I approached my everyday life. Our schedule was hectic and the travel was insane. Normally I would trip out if we weren't running on time or my OCD would kick-in and everything would need to be planned out and laid out a certain way, but something was different this time. I finally realized that not everything had to be planned out, and how much nicer it was to leave things up to chance. I just had to let it all go and roll with it. I found myself taking in deep breaths and with each exhale my guard went down piece by piece.

When we reached Bellagio,  my heart was overwhelmed with love while my mind was finally at peace. I guess staring across Lake Como with the Swiss Alps draping the background had that affect on me. I didn't feel like a foreigner in another land, thousands of miles away from my comfort zone. Instead, I finally felt like I was "home". The peace I felt was so overwhelming that words would do it injustice. For once in a long time, I was happy... with myself and the life I was living.

Was it some mystical wonder of being in another country? Was it the beautiful view of the majestic mountains? Or perhaps the calm body of water that surrounded the city of Bellagio. Maybe, but I would not have enjoyed their beauty as a whole had I not made one important, life-changing decision... letting go.

I made the choice to let go of all the pain, doubt, anger, and fear of the unknown. Once I made that choice for myself, the flood gates broke and happiness drenched my soul. I haven't looked back since.  I can't control everything, and life is too precious to waste worrying about it. The more you anchor yourself to the negative the longer it takes for you to reach that happiness. Let go and move forward. Only look back to remind yourself of where you don't want to be. When you choose to be happy, being anything else is no longer an option.

Choose love and laughter... Choose to live by YOUR rules.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said it best, "Successful people LIVE well, LAUGH often, and LOVE much."

Step into my world...

Well, here it is folks... my very first Blog entry. First off, thanks for stopping by. The very thought that you are all crazy (or curious) enough to take a look at what craziness is spewing from my head, means a lot to me. I've debated for months (okay, more like 5) whether or not to start one of these things. After many signs, from totally unconnected friends, I realized the clues couldn't get any more clearer. I received numerous words of encouragement about the content of my writings, my positive energy, and my interesting walk of life. So with that comes the birth of my blog. Instagram and Facebook can only hold so much interest, not to mention the annoying search of something you found inspirational to read. There are times even I need to re-read something I posted to find inspiration myself. I have found that this may be the best solution yet. I will try to keep this as interesting as possible and I promise to post just as much of my silly stuff, but as human as I am please understand that there may also be times of deep contemplation where I'm a bit heavy hearted and vulnerable. All those moments make up who I am. 

So sit back and enjoy the makings of "Mai" stay a while if you choose, but if you must go thank you for stopping by...